With the Nice View
by LadyMikiri
Summary: Hokage Kakashi makes the most unfortunate requests of his wife at times. Alternately, Yamato is scared and confused.


A/N: Roku-Kashi goodness. OC is mine. Onward.

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"Mikiri, let's say hypothetically, I need the Daimyo to agree to change our trade agreement, that in actuality, benefits both the Land of Fire and the Leaf but kinda sorta means he gets less money himself. And if, perhaps, he is known to be easier to convince if there are pretty ladies around, how offended would you be if I - hypothetically, of course - asked you to wear a slutty dress to the dinner in a few days?"

"Kakashi, are you asking me to prostitute myself out to make your job easier?"

Yamato stood to Kakashi's right as he always did when he was assigned to guard the Hokage. Yet again Yamato wondered why Kakashi always had to do the most dangerous things when it was Yamato's turn. At Kakashi's delicately worded request, he did his best to keep a neutral face. Normally, he hid in the shadows and stayed in the wall so that it seemed his presence wasn't actually there at all. But Kakashi had specifically asked him to stand close to him for the his next meeting. Yamato had prepared himself for a potentially dangerous client or a high level shinobi from another village. Then Mikiri had waltzed in, plopped herself in the armchair that she had jutsu-ed to appear just for her (she still refused to share the jutsu with Shikamaru much to his chagrin), and said "What's up?" She was clearly here for the meeting Kakashi had mentioned, but if that was the case, why did Kakashi request his presence so close? Yamato was pretty sure if Mikiri wanted to, it didn't matter where Yamato stood, she'd get to Kakashi. Not to mention Mikiri was one of the most unlikely to randomly attack the Hokage (well, seriously attack-she had been known to throw ice cubes down his shirt when he leaned forward). And then Kakashi asked his question. He managed to exponentially increase the likelihood of Mikiri decking him simply by opening his mouth. It was a rare talent, but not an altogether useful one.

In the short span of time between Kakashi's question and Mikiri's response, Yamato asked himself if he really would try to step in the way if Mikiri charged. Instinctively, he told himself he would protect his Hokage. But with the next thought, he realized he could only protect the Hokage from certain things and his own stupidity was not one of them. Maybe Kakashi would get lucky, and Mikiri would only throw a pen or two at him like she had in the past.

Then Mikiri responded with a question of her own, and Yamato had to admit he couldn't have worded it better himself. He also realized Kakashi wasn't going to get off with just a few projectile writing utensils. As much as Yamato would prefer otherwise, he was going to have to halt Mikiri or at least attempt to. Duty and honor and the sake of the village and such. _"Please, Kakashi-senpai, don't dig yourself a bigger hole than the one you're already in,"_ he tried to plead telepathically.

Kakashi considered for a moment, then spoke, "Not so much a prostitute. I don't want you to sleep with him. More along the lines of a visual distraction…" Kakashi waved his hand in the air, "...mission?"

"Mission?" Mikiri asked lightly, raising her eyebrows.

 _"Dammit, Senpai."_

Mikiri sat back in her chair and crossed her feet on Kakashi's desk. "Which dress you think I should wear? The green one with the lace?"

 _"Wait, what?"_ There was no way Mikiri was okay with this request. It had to be a trick, a lull-him-into-a-false-sense-of-security type of thing. But then again, he had long ago given up trying to figure out how in the hell Kakashi and Mikiri worked. Maybe this was just one of those things.

"Oh, please don't. I need him distracted, not me too. What about the black one with the uh-?" Kakashi made a weird motion towards his heart, and Yamato wondered if perhaps he was having a heart attack.

"Deep neckline?"

"Nice view." They spoke in unison, but both clearly understood the other. "Yes, the deep neckline one," Kakashi tried to recover, but the amused look in Mikiri's eye told Yamato it hadn't quite worked.

"Kakashi, are you saying my breasts no longer distract you?" Mikiri asked in a hurt voice that directly contrasted the grin on her face.

Kakashi chuckled. "Like that would ever happen. I can just keep my eyes looking elsewhere. Don't worry. I still find myself getting hopelessly lost in your glorious chest."

At that moment, they both turned, grinning, to look at Yamato who was steadfastly staring at the door, refusing eye contact, and turning a dark shade of red.

"You have any input on this topic, Yamato?" Kakashi asked.

"Please don't make me answer that, Lord Hokage."

Mikiri laughed as she stood up. "Do you require anything else of me, Lord Hokage, or are you content to simply use my body for your service?"

"That will be all. Your dedication to this village and your Hokage is admirable."

"So I've been told," Mikiri responded in a voice that was not at all playful and had Yamato wishing desperately to fade into the walls. She bowed before his desk and then exited. Mikiri rarely ever bowed before Kakashi, and that mixed with the tone she had used, had Yamato thanking his lucky stars that once the Hokage was safely inside his residence, Yamato didn't have to keep an eye on him. He'd walked into enough awkward situations between the two of them, and he most certainly did not need another.

"Well, Yamato, that was my last meeting of the day, and it went far better than I had imagined, so to celebrate, I'm going to take off a little early."

"Of course, Lord Hokage. Have fun celebrating."

"I intend to."

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A/N: Kakashi and Mikiri's main goal in life is to make Yamato uncomfortable


End file.
